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'New year New me' lasted three days 😂

Last December the foreman's vacation might have gone too well. Or he might have lost his phone because after that day he never posted anything on WhatsApp. Not even the new year's messages that
everyone was posting. So, after resuming work on the 2nd of Jan, I had to go find out what happened to everyone's favorite foreman, Wamaku. Turns out, he had decided to 'grow up' and posting so much was a youngster's game that he was no longer interested in.

But how will he 'komesha' people, I wondered. Because his statuses were mostly about his personal life or about 'telling off' people he felt had irked him. On New Year's Day, everyone with a smartphone at site posted their 'new year new me' in long Swahili sentences about how they are going to drop wanafiki and that kind of stuff. In this village resolutions were made with as much enthusiasm as the local bakery's vitumbuas.

Wamaku, notorious for breaking every resolution before the first week of January was through, decided that this year would be different—this year, he was determined to stick to his goals. With a list of resolutions longer than the line at the gym on January 2nd, Wamaku set out on a mission. The first resolution being no posting what he called 'nonsense' on statuses and trying to live a private life. This one so far, he had started practicing after the vacation so maybe there were chances of him doing it.

Resolution two: learn English on a professional level. On the first day back, that is 2nd of January, the foreman enthusiastically approached the Kenyan Engineer and talked about his plans, requesting him to be his tutor. (I mentioned that Kenyans are a big deal here, right?)

Image by Jörg Hertle from Pixabay

Resolution three: conquer a fear. Wamaku decided it was time to face his fear of vulnerability and falling in love.

"But you are married." I commented peeping at his list hoping he was almost done because we were tired of his rather illusory stories.

"Yes, but she is not the one. I want to leave her and find my person."

Before I could interject, he quieted me done like a child waiting for Santa on Christmas. I took offence and left the quorum. Frankly, I just wanted to leave but couldn’t find a reason to so this one came in at a convenient time.

As the day unfolded, Wamaku's resolutions became more entertaining than achievable. By afternoon, he'd accidentally invented a new dance called "The mwaka mpya shuffle" while attempting to follow an online dance workout at lunch. He spent an hour at the nurse's station complaining of muscle sprain-story for another day.

At the end of the day, as the clock struck 6PM and the site had to close, Wamaku rushed to his section only to realize that the day's production had been quite low. reason? He was not there manning his people. And, they were probably still not over the holiday mood.

On 3rd January, Wamaku had posted on his statuses how some people cannot work without him. And with that, everyone knew he was back. This tale will surely be told and retold, reminding everyone that there is no 'new year- new me' for the foreman. At least he had lasted two and a half days. And 1st doesn’t count because he was at home, we don’t know what he did. And so, in this peculiar kavillage, Wamaku's New-Person-presentation became a legendary tale of resolutions gone awry, laughter echoing through the streets as the townsfolk embraced the joy of imperfection and the beauty of being delightfully, wonderfully human.

I’m going to make sure he becomes proficient in English though. Maybe that’s my resolution?

Anyway, here is to a productive and great new year at the mjengo, wherever y’all are.

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